Fuzzy's Tacos

Recently, a friend of mine moved back to the Dallas-Fort Worth area. Her first Facebook status update from her new crib was, "OMG! I am so happy to be back in the DFW! You know what that means... Time for Fuzzy's Tacos!"
My response was... "Fuzzy's = GROSS!"

Two days later, an Irish friend of mine ventured out to Fuzzy's Taco Shop for the first time in her life. She became gravely ill from the disgusting filth served to her. It was then I realized I have failed to update my blog to save people from the unfortunate, the unseen, the unpredictable, the unfriendly... Bad Mexican food.

After being on hiatus for over a year, it is time for The American Beaner to make a come back! Let's kick this "Welcome Back" celebration off right with my review of the dreaded taco joint known as Fuzzy's Taco Shop.

As I entered the door to Fuzzy's Taco Shop for the first time, I was in awe with the ambiance and atmosphere. The bright colors, the rustic looking furniture, and the patio area seemed pretty legit of how a taco shop should look like. I felt nostalgia of being back home in the Rio Grande Valley and having my first experience at my favorite taco shop down there... but that's another story.

One thing that caught my attention was their slogan: "Welcome to your new addiction!" My first thought was, "Oh yeah! Let's do this!" The place looked awesome and their slogan was basically telling, "Oyes, vato... Estos tacos are the bomb, homes! You'll love them more than your abuelita." I was ready to dive in!

I glanced through the menu which hung over the cash counter and I noticed the food was a little pricey such as $2 for one small taco. "Seriosly?" I thought to myself. For $2 this taco must be off the chain! So I decided on eating a few Baja Tacos. Two of them were fish and the other two were garlic shredded beef. I couldn't help but try the chicken quesadilla as well.

Ordering was easy. Waiting for the food was the complicated part. No joke. You seriously have to wait next to the kitchen to hear your order called out or you can wait at your table. If you wait at the table, you will most likely hear a man with a deep voice and thick Mexican accient yell directly into the microphone, "ORDEN FIFTY FIFTY SEE!"

As you approach the kitchen window to pick up your order, you are treated horrible. Nobody is at the window expiditing the orders so you pretty much have to check each plate to see which one has the ticket that matches yours. If you ask the cooks for help, they will pretty much rudely tell you to find the plate with the ticket that corresponds to your number.

So after fighting off other customers who are trying to take your plate in a mass confusion of whose plate is whose, you can finally sit and enjoy your meal... And I use the word "enjoy" very loosely.

First off, my Baja Tacos were small! At $2 a taco I was furious! My taco had more lettuce and feta cheese than actual substance! To make matters worse, the fish wasn't even fully cooked. I took my plate back to the kitchen window and explained to the cooks in Spanish about the fish being undercooked. The cooks took back my plate and gave it back to me within a couple of minutes. To my amazement... there was less fish in the tacos! I asked the cooks in Spanish, "What happened to all the fish!" They basically shrugged their shoulders. The manager over heard and took over making my fish tacos again... and again they were crap! They were still undercooked and very meager. The manager explained to me that was the recepie. I was furious.

Where's the beef?!?!?!

The garlic shredded beef lacked so much flavor and beef I had to add so much salsa to it that my beef tacos became salsa tacos... Very disappointing. Why even advertise them as Garlic Shredded Beef tacos if there is no garlic beef in them! At least surpise me with a big kick in the face with an over seasoning of garlic instead of nothing at all. How about this Mr. Fuzzy, rename your Garlic Shredded Beef Tacos to "Lack of Garlic and All That is Pleasant Meager Beef Tacos".

Aye dios mio. The quesadilla was the worst. I can eat raw fish... I like sushi. I can eat salsa tacos. Piece of cake. I like salsa. What I can't eat is a greasy, over cheesy quesadilla. Every bite of the quesadilla drew out more and more grease onto the plate and onto the table! By the end of it, my plate looked like a scene out of a Martin Scorsese crime film. The quesadilla had a thick cheesy flavor that felt chalky at first and then watery once you chewed into it to release the grease that was encased inside the cheese.

Beaner Ceritifaction: FAIL! FAIL! FAIL! FAIL! FAIL! Todo mal! Mal! Mal! Mal!

If you are ever in the Dallas-Fort Worth area, stay far away from Fuzzy's as you can! Do not ask the locals, "Howdy! Do y'all know where we can find some good tacos?" If you do ask them, their response will be Fuzzy's Taco Shop. Why? Because they don't know what Mexican food is! If they did, Fuzzy's wouldnt be expanding to the northern states! That just proves a point: The farther north you go from Mexico, the harder it is to find real Mexican food.

Do you want to experience a real taco shop with real tacos? The Rio Grande Valley where you should travel for high quality tacos. There is a legit taco shop within every 5 mile radius in the Rio Grande Valley that have far more superior tacos than Fuzzy's. FAR MORE SUPERIOR!

Fuzzy's = GROSS!

On The Border Mexican Grill and Cantina

Aye dios mio. The horror. The horror.



This is quite possibly the most disgraceful Mexican restaurant on the planet. It's an exploitation of Mexican food. It's awful. It's... It's... just wrong.

Why is it bad? Well the queso for starters tasted like something I have had many times before... Something that I have made on my own... with Velveta cheese and a can of Ro-Tel. Yes! That's exactly what it was. How am I so sure? Dude! I went to college! Being a starving student, my best friends became Velveta cheese, Ro-Tel, and tortilla chips. Nuke the cheese with the Ro-Tel and then... Bam! Queso. And that my friends is the queso from On The Border.

Beef fajitas were my entre. Why? Because there is no way a so-called restaurant can mess that up. And they didn't. The fajitas were... actually forgetable. I cannot remember how they even tasted to be honest. I can't even remember how the rice tasted.

What I do remember were the black beans that came on the side for they were cold and bland. Speaking of which, that's what really bugged me the most about this place... Charro beans were not on the menu! Charro beans are a staple in Mexican food. How can a Mexican restaurant forget this!

Flautas from On The Border taste like they came out of a cardboard box. Their guacamole tasted like Wholly Guacamole mixed with Ro-Tel. Their pico de gallo tasted like Ro-Tel as well. How did I know it was Ro-Tel? Well for one, there wasn't enough onions in it and... The server told me it came from a can!

Conversation went like this:

Me: "Hey quick question... is this Pico de Gallo fresh?"

Server: [smirks] "No. It's from a can." [nervous laugh]

Me: "Figures."

Server: "Hey! It's local!"

Me: "Really?"

Server: "Duh! The can says Texas."

Fun Fact: Ro-Tel is based out of Elsa, Texas.

Beaner Certification: FAIL!

This restaurant is based on Ro-Tel. They used Ro-Tel on almost all of their dishes! Even the fajitas had Ro-Tel on the side for garnish! Do yourself a favor and save yourself money. Stay home. Buy a few cans of Ro-Tel. Once you have the Ro-Tel... visit this link: Ro-Tel Recipes.
Once you are there... select a few recipes for a dinner. Make them. Enjoy. After you are done eating, pick up your phone and call a friend and tell your friend, "Hey! I am a cook for On The Border!"

FWD: THIS IS SCARY

I recently received a FWD e-mail which I decided to share with you all.

Here is the unedited e-mail:

////

Subject: FW: THIS IS SCARY

If you can look at this picture, read the sign and
NOT pass this on . . . SHAME ON YOU!

Take a good look at the sign he is holding!

Ok all you ' fighters for illegal immigrants' rights. Here is one of the reasons we have a problem with it. As the ones that have to pay for thewelfare of these immigrants, depriving the natural citizens . One of the several reasons the U . S . A . is falling apart.
"Getter Done Arizona " !

Enough said.
Boy-oh-Boy, this needs to travel around the U.S.A. Don't let it die folks.

////

Needless to say, this e-mail landed in the hands of The Hispanic Sociologist.

It's time for...

The Sociologist's Perspective

Looking at the photo, you first notice the sign being held by the man in the black shirt. Note how the sign looks it was written by a child. The handwriting is not well and the grammar is not great either. Assuming the man made the sign, you can discern that he does not know proper English. And assuming he is from Mexico, he does not know what life Americans live. Perhaps he believes Americans have these benefits, but we don't. Assuming that he doesn't know, who is going to educate him if he does not know proper English.

"You owe us AMERICA". Why? Well let's look at the working condition of farm workers.

According the National Farm Worker Ministry, working conditions for farm workers are harsh since the workers are constantly exposed to harmful pesticides without protection, experience high heat temperatures while working for several hours under the sun, lack water supply, adequate toilets, soap, and other supplies which create a safe and healthy work environment. Plus they get paid low wages for a days work. (For more info on these conditions, check out the link to the National Farm Worker Ministry: Harsh Working Conditions)

Currently there is a story making headlines on Univison and in California about a immigrant farm worker who suffered from such harsh conditions. A 17 year old immigrant farm worker named Maria Isabel Vasquez Jimenez died of heat exhaustion while working in the field. You can read the full story here:Teen Farmworker's Heat Death Sparks Outcry
.

Even though her death happened in 2008, it is making current headlines because her family has taken the case to court citing the working conditions which led to Maria's death. The final punishment set by the judge onto Maria's former employers is "probation, community service, and a $1,000 fine". This judgement has started an outcry amongst farm workers and especially the United Farm Workers of America. (Read the story here: Plea deal in farm worker's death sparks protest
.)

Now knowing about these harsh working conditions and what they can lead to, it makes sense why this man in the photo believes "AMERICA" owes him. Perhaps he too worked in such conditions and wants some compensation. Perhaps he has family currently working in the fields and he is speaking out for them.

Now as for his statement of "We will shoot more police in Arizona until we get free" is way out of line. There is no reason to shoot people to get a point across. However, this statement shows the degree of frustration this man has experienced. When dealing with a great amount of frustration, logical reasoning can be clouded and misguided leading to such statements to be proclaimed. The statement also contains bad grammar which supports the theory that the man does not know proper English.

That's what I have to say about the photo. Now as for the e-mail itself... Any statement that is followed by "Getter done" cannot be taken seriously. The photograph is a serious matter; however, the text in the e-mail is not.

According to Kohlberg's Stages of Moral Development, there are 3 levels of moral development people posses which are Pre-Conventional, Conventional, and Post-Conventional.

Pre-Conventional people judge actions based on their direct consequences. For example, a boy eats a cookie because it tastes good or a boy does not write on the walls because he will get placed in time out.

Conventional people judge actions based on society's view on those said actions. An example of this is a teenager not stealing a skateboard from Wal-Mart because he knows the act of stealing is against the law and frowned upon by society. These people also view people who break the law are guilty for breaking it despite what reasons led the individual to break said law.

Post-Conventional people are aware that everyone is different and social views are abstract. In other words, a poor man steals expensive medicine from a pharmacy that will save his child from dying. He knows he can't afford it and knows it's wrong to steal, but he does so anyways because he wants to preserve the life of his dying daughter. The poor man is considered to be at a Post-Coventional level.

The person who wrote this e-mail clearly is a Conventional moral reasoner because he or she just looked at the photo and literally judged the book by it's cover. This same person would believe the father in my example is guilty and must pay the penalty for stealing medicine for his dying daughter. This person clearly does not analyze a situation and cannot understand why it's occurring.

This photo and e-mail is a prime example of jumping to conclusions and not analyzing a situation. Look at the photo and think about what social problems that led up to it. Sometimes you have to see each piece of the puzzle before you know what the finished product is.

Seriously. Look at the photo and ask yourself what elements or situations could have culminated that would lead this man to carry such a sign. Go on now. "Getter done!"

Spider-Man Gets Remade

You read right folks... After 9 years, the first Spider-Man movie is being remade.

Why?

Well here is the story...

Sony Pictures wanted a Spider-Man 4, 5, and 6 with Sam Raimi directing with the same cast reprising their roles from the previous films. Sony gave Raimi a deadline which was to have Spider-Man 4 in theaters by May 6, 2011. Spider-Man 4 entered development in 2007. The trick with this film is that it was suppose to tie in with Spider-Man 5 and 6 which were to be made at the same time and have a "Lord of the Rings" type of box office release where each movie was to be released one year after the other.

The pressure from Sony Pictures was too much for Sam Raimi because he quit. Sources say that Sam Raimi met with Sony Pictures Co-Chairman Amy Pascal and the then Colombia Pictures Co-President of Production and told them he couldn't make the deadline because he could not uphold the film creatively with all the deadlines he was set to meet.

How did Sony Pictures and Colombia Pictures respond to this? "We are going to remake the Spider-Man movie franchise!" They even announced this on the same day they announced Sam Raimi quit.

Loosely translated, this is a slap to Sam Raimi's face. This is the movie companies basically telling Sam Raimi, "Your movies were forgettable, so we are going to remake each one and make them better... In... Three... Dee!"

So now we have "The Amazing Spider-Man" movie set to hit theaters in 2012. Sony reps are saying this movie is a "reboot" and not a remake. They are saying "The Amazing Spider-Man" is going to do what "The Dark Knight" did to the 1989 "Batman" movie.

I don't know guys. I am very skeptical on this one. To me all this is Sony and Colombia trying to humiliate Sam Raimi for walking out on them. But it serves them right! Sam Raimi is a great film maker and if you set a deadline which he can't meet, just give the guy an extension. I am not saying his Spider-Man movies were great. What I am saying is he is a great director and deserves time and freedom to put out the best movie possible.

When he is in his element, he makes critically acclaimed films such as "Drag Me To Hell", "Darkman" and the cult classic Evil Dead series.

Well let's look on the bright side, Sam Raimi is better off not making another Spider-Man movie to the evil corporate Hollywood empire.

Will.i.am Calls Out Obama

During the underwhelming Super Bowl 45 Half Time Show, Will.i.am decided to call out President Obama. I know many musicians in the past have raised political awareness and they are able to pull it off; however, I am quite bitter about Will.i.am's comments on Barack Obama.



Here is some history between Will.i.am and Barack Obama.

During the great Presidential Election of 2008, Will.i.am created a YouTube video endorsing then Senator Obama for the presidential seat. The video even won an Emmy Award for Best New Approaches in Daytime Entertainment.



According to the Huffington Post, Will.i.am said he created the viral video because he became inspired by Obama's "Yes We Can Speech". Before the speech, Will.i.am claimed to have no interest in politics because the political world is "unfair, backwards, upside down, unbalanced, untruthful,corrupt" et cetera, et cetera. (You can read the entire article here: Will.i.am: Why I Recorded Yes We Can)

Sometime between early 2008 and February 6, 2011 something went wrong and made Will.i.am frustrated yet again with politics. His frustration led him to say the following to President Obama during the Super Bowl 45 Half Time Show:

"In America we need to get things straight / Obama, let's get these kids educated / Create jobs so the country stays stimulated."

First off, I don't think Obama heard Will.i.am's shout out because he was asleep like the rest of us during The Black Eyed Peas performance.

Secondly, Will.i.am has never heard of JFK's famous Inaugural Address where he cites, "Ask not what your country can do for you - ask what you can do for your country."

With this in mind one has to ask, "What is Will.i.am doing for his country?"

What is Will.i.am doing about getting "these kids educated"? He created a scholarship named the "I Am Scholarship" which is granted to financially challenged students who pursue a career in Film, Television, Journalism, Computer Science, and New Media. How are jobs in these areas going to help stimulate the economy?

If Will.i.am really wants to get "kids educated" and "create jobs so the country stays stimulated" then he needs to be the change.

His scholarship should not support Computer Science and New Media since those jobs are being outsourced. Journalism is beginning to be a thing of the past now since bloggers are taking over the media outlets. Film and television? Really?

His scholarship should support future leaders of America such as Business Majors, Political Science Majors, Sociologists (you know I had to), and most importantly... teachers! Why teachers? Because teachers get the "kids educated". And those educated kids will create jobs.

Business kids will create business. Political Science kids would lead the nation into the future. Sociologists will help make sense of the world and help eliminate social problems. Teachers will educate the future generation and will focus more about economy in order for the future generations to avoid the mess we are in right now.

Since Will.i.am called out Obama, I think it's only fair for me to call out Will.i.am.

"Yo! Check it! You got to get these kids educated in the right direction. Don't lead them down the dark path of economic recession. You got to be the change for the future nation in order to avoid potential hard times and devastation."

Holla at cha boy.

The Super Bowl 45 Half Time Show

I know it has been three days since the Super Bowl 45 Half Time Show happened; however, it still seems to be a recently discussed trend on the Internet, television talk shows, and in my recent traumatic memory.

The Black Eyed Peas failed at delivering a great Super Bowl Half Time Show. The sound was horrible, the choreography was boring and unrehearsed. Actually, the whole show seemed unrehearsed. The guest appearance of Slash was tainted by bad audio and Fergie's sickening vocals. Usher was also faded out with bad audio and out of focus visuals to the point where you had to squint to identify the dude in white was actually Usher.

How bad was it? Here it is. You have been warned.



Here is a list of bands and artists that I believe would have done a much better job than the untalented Black Eyed Peas.

ZZ Top: ZZ Top hails from Texas (which would have kept with the Texas Super Bowl theme) and they appeal to the masses. On another note this Super Bowl Half Time Show would have been the big kick off they needed for their 2011 Global Tour. Did I mention they are from Texas?



KISS: No explaination needed. Why? Because it's KISS! If KISS performed you know a majority of Packers and Steelers fan would have worn the KISS army face masks in their team colors. Now that would have been a sight to see. They even got David Letterman's seal of approval.



AC/DC: After 38 years of rocking the world, AC/DC has yet to rock the Super Bowl. Knowing the band's on stage antics and their instant adrenaline shock by sound, they would have set the tone for an intense second half. Their music is so adrenaline pumped, Iron Man 2's soundtrack is basically an AC/DC anthology.



Garth Brooks: After performing his benefit concerts in Tennesee for flood victims, he could have made the Super Bowl Half Time Show his final show before going back into retirement. Plus, he is a KISS fan. That would have been one collaboration on the Super Bowl for sure. Why would Garth Brooks have been better than The Black Eyed Peas? Simple. He would have brought awareness of national social issues during his perfomance much better than The Black Eyed Peas did.



What do you all think? Who would have performed a better Super Bowl Half Time Show than The Black Eyed "Fleas"?

Cyclone Anaya's World Class Mexican Kitchen

Texas Monthly named Cyclone Anaya's to be one of the best Mexican restaurants in Texas. With this in mind, I had to go check it out.

I visited their Plano location which was very modern and upscale. It is the second Mexican restaurant I have seen in my lifetime to have fire torches outside for their main entrance.

Customer service their was bland, but who cares... I am here for the food!

The chips really didn't stand out besides being fresh. Perhaps the chips were neutral because they were simply tools used for you to enjoy the queso and salsa.

The salsa was great. Very tangy and spicy which felt authentic to me. The tomatoes in it were finely mashed with a perfect blend of spices and chiles. It was perfect.

Chile con Queso was the main appetizer for my meal. I was shocked to see that their queso was in fact traditional Mexican queso. It was white compared to most places who use the non-traditional yellowish orange queso. Cyclone Anaya's queso was delicious. It had a great zesty queso blanco flavor and an underlying spice to it that had the power to transport you straight to Mexico. It was rich in flavor and you can easily discern the true authentic queso blanco it possessed.

Upon pursuing the menu, I decided to have their famous dish named Cyclone's Soft Tacos. The menu indicated that their soft tacos are laced with their "special sauce" that made the restaurant famous. Clearly I needed to try these tacos for myself and put them to the test.

Blah!

The tacos weren't even tacos! They were rolled up into an enchilada state. I asked my server, "Are these tacos?" She answered, "Yes." I then asked, "Why do they look like enchiladas?" Her response baffled me, "We roll up our tacos that way because they are soft and they can get messy."

No! They are tacos! You eat tacos with your hands! You eat enchiladas with a fork and that's how I had to eat my dish: With a fork! The "tacos" were so thin I didn't even need a knife. I just used my fork to cut straight down on the "tacos". Their online menu has been updated since I left their establishment to indicate that these tacos are "rolled". Perhaps my complaint was heard by the powers that be at Cyclone's to the point where they had to add "rolled" into the menu.

Cyclone Tacos were a disappointment. The meat tasted similar to that of Taco Bell and they were greasy just like Taco Bell. The "special sauce" tasted just like sour cream. There was nothing special about the dish. The Mexican rice tastes just like the Mexican rice I make which begs the question, "Why the heck am I eating here and paying for something I know I can replicate at home?"

I then indulged in the flan. It was good. It would have been awesome if the flan jiggled. This means the flan was overcooked to the point where it was stiff and required some effort to dig into. The flavor was sweet and slightly burnt.

Beaner Certification: FAIL!

You know it was coming. The only good thing about Cyclone Anaya's was their salsa and Chile con Queso that I can truly say was the best queso I have had in years. Everything else was was way over priced and would make any Mexican cry in shame.

Believe me... I wept.