On The Border Mexican Grill and Cantina

Aye dios mio. The horror. The horror.



This is quite possibly the most disgraceful Mexican restaurant on the planet. It's an exploitation of Mexican food. It's awful. It's... It's... just wrong.

Why is it bad? Well the queso for starters tasted like something I have had many times before... Something that I have made on my own... with Velveta cheese and a can of Ro-Tel. Yes! That's exactly what it was. How am I so sure? Dude! I went to college! Being a starving student, my best friends became Velveta cheese, Ro-Tel, and tortilla chips. Nuke the cheese with the Ro-Tel and then... Bam! Queso. And that my friends is the queso from On The Border.

Beef fajitas were my entre. Why? Because there is no way a so-called restaurant can mess that up. And they didn't. The fajitas were... actually forgetable. I cannot remember how they even tasted to be honest. I can't even remember how the rice tasted.

What I do remember were the black beans that came on the side for they were cold and bland. Speaking of which, that's what really bugged me the most about this place... Charro beans were not on the menu! Charro beans are a staple in Mexican food. How can a Mexican restaurant forget this!

Flautas from On The Border taste like they came out of a cardboard box. Their guacamole tasted like Wholly Guacamole mixed with Ro-Tel. Their pico de gallo tasted like Ro-Tel as well. How did I know it was Ro-Tel? Well for one, there wasn't enough onions in it and... The server told me it came from a can!

Conversation went like this:

Me: "Hey quick question... is this Pico de Gallo fresh?"

Server: [smirks] "No. It's from a can." [nervous laugh]

Me: "Figures."

Server: "Hey! It's local!"

Me: "Really?"

Server: "Duh! The can says Texas."

Fun Fact: Ro-Tel is based out of Elsa, Texas.

Beaner Certification: FAIL!

This restaurant is based on Ro-Tel. They used Ro-Tel on almost all of their dishes! Even the fajitas had Ro-Tel on the side for garnish! Do yourself a favor and save yourself money. Stay home. Buy a few cans of Ro-Tel. Once you have the Ro-Tel... visit this link: Ro-Tel Recipes.
Once you are there... select a few recipes for a dinner. Make them. Enjoy. After you are done eating, pick up your phone and call a friend and tell your friend, "Hey! I am a cook for On The Border!"