Recently, a friend of mine moved back to the Dallas-Fort Worth area. Her first Facebook status update from her new crib was, "OMG! I am so happy to be back in the DFW! You know what that means... Time for Fuzzy's Tacos!"
My response was... "Fuzzy's = GROSS!"
Two days later, an Irish friend of mine ventured out to Fuzzy's Taco Shop for the first time in her life. She became gravely ill from the disgusting filth served to her. It was then I realized I have failed to update my blog to save people from the unfortunate, the unseen, the unpredictable, the unfriendly... Bad Mexican food.
After being on hiatus for over a year, it is time for The American Beaner to make a come back! Let's kick this "Welcome Back" celebration off right with my review of the dreaded taco joint known as Fuzzy's Taco Shop.
As I entered the door to Fuzzy's Taco Shop for the first time, I was in awe with the ambiance and atmosphere. The bright colors, the rustic looking furniture, and the patio area seemed pretty legit of how a taco shop should look like. I felt nostalgia of being back home in the Rio Grande Valley and having my first experience at my favorite taco shop down there... but that's another story.
One thing that caught my attention was their slogan: "Welcome to your new addiction!" My first thought was, "Oh yeah! Let's do this!" The place looked awesome and their slogan was basically telling, "Oyes, vato... Estos tacos are the bomb, homes! You'll love them more than your abuelita." I was ready to dive in!
I glanced through the menu which hung over the cash counter and I noticed the food was a little pricey such as $2 for one small taco. "Seriosly?" I thought to myself. For $2 this taco must be off the chain! So I decided on eating a few Baja Tacos. Two of them were fish and the other two were garlic shredded beef. I couldn't help but try the chicken quesadilla as well.
Ordering was easy. Waiting for the food was the complicated part. No joke. You seriously have to wait next to the kitchen to hear your order called out or you can wait at your table. If you wait at the table, you will most likely hear a man with a deep voice and thick Mexican accient yell directly into the microphone, "ORDEN FIFTY FIFTY SEE!"
As you approach the kitchen window to pick up your order, you are treated horrible. Nobody is at the window expiditing the orders so you pretty much have to check each plate to see which one has the ticket that matches yours. If you ask the cooks for help, they will pretty much rudely tell you to find the plate with the ticket that corresponds to your number.
So after fighting off other customers who are trying to take your plate in a mass confusion of whose plate is whose, you can finally sit and enjoy your meal... And I use the word "enjoy" very loosely.
First off, my Baja Tacos were small! At $2 a taco I was furious! My taco had more lettuce and feta cheese than actual substance! To make matters worse, the fish wasn't even fully cooked. I took my plate back to the kitchen window and explained to the cooks in Spanish about the fish being undercooked. The cooks took back my plate and gave it back to me within a couple of minutes. To my amazement... there was less fish in the tacos! I asked the cooks in Spanish, "What happened to all the fish!" They basically shrugged their shoulders. The manager over heard and took over making my fish tacos again... and again they were crap! They were still undercooked and very meager. The manager explained to me that was the recepie. I was furious.
The garlic shredded beef lacked so much flavor and beef I had to add so much salsa to it that my beef tacos became salsa tacos... Very disappointing. Why even advertise them as Garlic Shredded Beef tacos if there is no garlic beef in them! At least surpise me with a big kick in the face with an over seasoning of garlic instead of nothing at all. How about this Mr. Fuzzy, rename your Garlic Shredded Beef Tacos to "Lack of Garlic and All That is Pleasant Meager Beef Tacos".
Aye dios mio. The quesadilla was the worst. I can eat raw fish... I like sushi. I can eat salsa tacos. Piece of cake. I like salsa. What I can't eat is a greasy, over cheesy quesadilla. Every bite of the quesadilla drew out more and more grease onto the plate and onto the table! By the end of it, my plate looked like a scene out of a Martin Scorsese crime film. The quesadilla had a thick cheesy flavor that felt chalky at first and then watery once you chewed into it to release the grease that was encased inside the cheese.
Beaner Ceritifaction: FAIL! FAIL! FAIL! FAIL! FAIL! Todo mal! Mal! Mal! Mal!
If you are ever in the Dallas-Fort Worth area, stay far away from Fuzzy's as you can! Do not ask the locals, "Howdy! Do y'all know where we can find some good tacos?" If you do ask them, their response will be Fuzzy's Taco Shop. Why? Because they don't know what Mexican food is! If they did, Fuzzy's wouldnt be expanding to the northern states! That just proves a point: The farther north you go from Mexico, the harder it is to find real Mexican food.
Do you want to experience a real taco shop with real tacos? The Rio Grande Valley where you should travel for high quality tacos. There is a legit taco shop within every 5 mile radius in the Rio Grande Valley that have far more superior tacos than Fuzzy's. FAR MORE SUPERIOR!
Fuzzy's = GROSS!
